Friday, June 5, 2009

Hard Habit to Break

You have to click the play button above in order to set the stage for my post. Go ahead, don't be afraid to be transported back to your youth.

First things first. Did you want to marry Peter Cetera, too? His voice made me weak in the knees and if I didn't dedicate every Chicago ballad to one of my boyfriends, I'm sure Richard Marx took up the slack.

Back then we all had big hair and looked really funny. See?

Most of my KCMO peeps will remember me looking like this.
-Me at 15-

I absolutely loved my tail. So much, in fact, that I've kept it in a memory box since the day I cut it off on July 23, 1992. This day also happens to be one of the happiest days of my life, when I married this guy.

No matter what anyone thinks of nail biting, it's a nervous habit. Don't believe for a second that the nail biter likes what they are doing.

As long as I can remember, I've always been embarassed by how my nails looked and up until a few weeks ago, I still bit them. In fact, within the two weeks before my tooth was to be extracted and braces put on, I bit them worse than I ever had. They bled, stung and ached. No matter how short my nail was, my teeth would always find a tiny sliver to gnaw on. Should any nail begin to grow, I would immediately bite it down. What I couldn't get with my teeth, I would chop off with cuticle snips. When there wasn't any nail to bite, I would start cutting my toenails.

I don't remember when I started the habit, I just know I've tried everything to stop. I closed my hands during every picture (when I remembered) just so my ugly fingers wouldn't be photographed. In fact, you can see my hand placed just so over Rob's shoulder in our wedding invitation photo above. That's not where the photographer placed my hands. I moved them up and over his shoulder. Sneaky, I know.

I even put on acrylic nails just to bite them off, too. My first set of acrylic nails (about 15 years ago) lasted me a whopping three hours. Yeah, that was a total waste of money. Three years ago, I went on this big acrylic nail kick and paid lots of money to have pretty nails. I was embarassed when I had to show details to my clients with my nubby fingernails. I had to point out things to my clients and I always wondered if they were grossed out. I was. Still, not even secretly loathing my nasty habit helped kick it.

A few weeks ago, right before my dental stuff started, my mother, my husband, and I were invited to attend a dinner for the Utah Association for the Deaf (UAD). I was wearing this beautiful dress, my hair was georgous and I knew my husband was going to look amazingly handsome. All I could focus on were my fingers, so I went to a nail school and had acrylic nails put on again. I found the least expensive place in case I bit them off, again. The nail technician had to put a base layer on because I had bit them so short. It's a good thing he did because they didn't even try to pop off, like the other ones.

My attitude changed immediately. I felt beautiful and did my best to keep them out of my mouth. It was hard, but I managed. A week later I got tooth extracted and braces put on. I haven't been able to bite my nails due to the braces, it's just too difficult. Plus, I worry that I will break a bracket if I even try.

I've pulled off my growing out acrylic nails and am going to start taking care of them. I'm excited to see my real nails grow and hopefully they'll be strong enough to at least sit just above my finger tip. I hope biting them hasn't destroyed my nail beds and I'll be left with nubby fingers for the rest of my life. I have sixteen + months to rid myself of this nervous habit, grow beautiful nails and accomplish something I thought I'd never be able to do.

Here they all their after acrylic nails glory. Well, except for the lonely thumb nail that's taking forever to loosen.

Oh well, it's good to scratch with. Take a look at my left pinky nail. Whoo-hoo! That's the longest I've ever let them grow before biting them off. Where the white starts is where I would bite them down to. Some of the acrylic nails pulled off what grew (so they are shorter) and of course there are several layers of nail that were removed with them.

Nail biting is definately a Hard Habit to Break! Now scroll back up and hit play know you want to.

1 comment:

  1. Good for you Lorri - like you I bit my nails. Then my Dad, who was my hero, promised me a manicure if I didn't bite them; I was all of 14 yrs old. Got the manicure and decided I liked them. Just takes one small thing to change us doesn't it. I do hope you didn't inherit mine and Nana's weak nails; which is the reason I HAVE to have gel nails otherwise every box I life or whatever at work I lose nails. Congrats and the nails look great. Luv, Mom