Monday, August 8, 2011

Gluten-Free Trial & Error

For years I have continued to eat my normal diet full of fast food, carbs, starches, junk food, diet soda and still lots of veggies, some fruits and lean meats.  I am a busy mom of five children and I also work part time.  Stress is a huge factor because I am an emotional eater.  Chocolate for anxiety,  carbs for irritability and starch for depression.  Sometimes I even combined all sorts of foods because I wasn't quite sure what I was feeling. 

A few months ago I started to feel nauseus about an hour after eating.  It didn't really matter what I ate...I'd feel sick.  The feelings were real.  In fact, a few weeks before I made a huge self-discovery, I had decreased my intake of food because I couldn't bear feeling nauseus again.  If there is one thing I hate's vomiting.  Luckily, I never actually vomited, but there were times I wish I could because I felt so sick.  It was that bad.  Only two things helped: 1) Not eating.  Bad idea.  Obviously this was something I would struggle with and have....since puberty.  Sigh.  Not eating only lasted for so long because I started to feel a different sickness...hunger and low blood sugar.  2) Snuggling with my husband.  Just laying my head on his chest has eased so many of my aches and pains, emotional/physical/psychologicial, over the years.  My husband is the epitome of my childhood stuffed monkey, "Scooter".  

*********Scooter was a well loved (and needed) friend, so much so that he, to the chagrin of my new husband,  shared our marriage bed for several years. I'm not sure what eventually happened to him and I can't quite remember just when it was that Scooter was replaced retired,  but as I grew to trust my husband more I was able to fall asleep beside him without some fuzzy monkey trying to co-sleep with us.  Later on, we had much better co-sleepers to keep us up at night...there wasn't any room for stuffed monkeys anyways.  Come to think of it, I'm quite sure Scooter is in some plastic tub full of forgotten, well-loved stuffies.**********

On July 16, 2011, I had just retrurned home from a Shakespeare Festival with my middle son, Casey.  I was miserable the whole trip.  Tired, nauseus and just wanting my husband to make me feel better.  The food that was provided was full of all the stuff I normally ate, just more junk,  and when we had to eat a meal on our own, it was fast food.  As we rode home on the 4 hour bus ride, I clutched my pillow and tried to take deep breaths as I looked straight into the cold air blowing on me so I didn't throw up. That evening I made a vow to figure out what was wrong with me.  It wasn't a virus, I was sure of that.  I also knew the answer was obvious, clear as day, but I wasn't seeing it and I had to be the detective.  

One thing was for was making me sick.  Maybe I was allergic to something?  I already knew I was allergic to milk as a baby and it has (in my mind) changed to a lactose "sensitivity".  I am watchful of the amount of dairy I take in because the after effects of too much dairy is not fun.  Also, I am sensitive to eggs.  Too many eggs (more than 2-3 a week) cause some serious IBS issues that are not pleasant for me or anyone else around me.  Taking inventory of what I had eaten on July 17 gave me an pretty clear idea of what might be wrong.  Since I am already conscious of eggs and dairy, I began researching gluten intolerance. Breads and baked goods are a huge part of my diet, so I decided to cut out breads (buns, rolls, toast, pastries...cupcakes ::sniff::) and I didn't feel sick that day.  The next day, I went shopping for fruits, veggies,  gluten-free corn chips and salsa. Obviously, I couldn't live off of these items, but it was all I could do mentally for now.  If things get too complicated I tend to zone out and my body didn't need me to zone out, it needed my full cooperation.  

Wednesday we ate dinner at church.  I called ahead to make sure there was something I could eat and they assured me I could eat it all....except the crutons on the salad.  I was told the ingredients and they even checked the spices to be sure.  I wish I had asked about the refried beans.  I figured they were just beans...there isn't any gluten in beans, or so I thought.  I was wrong and I was sick an hour later until the next morning.  I loathe feeling's the worst!

After that Wednesday I knew it was gluten.  At this point, I'm not sure how much different I'll feel if tests come back negative.  I have struggled to make the GF changes and while it's been so hard to break my bad habits, cravings and such, I know how much better I am starting to feel.  I will still go the medical route...just in case there is something else there, but I'm trusting my instincts on this one.  I've only accidently "glutened" myself twice and purposely once (STUPID!).  That one time was last night when I decided to taste two spoonfuls of the Blue Bunny Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream that is in my freezer....the carton I bought just thinking, "One little taste won't hurt.  I'm feeling better these days." 

 Milk, Cream, Sugar, Red Velvet Cake Pieces (Unenriched Wheat Flour, Water, Sugar, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Corn Starch, Pasteurized Eggs, Cocoa Processed with Alkali, Salt, Baking Soda, Red 40 Powder), Buttermilk, Flavor Base (Corn Syrup, Water, Sugar, Natural Flavors, Salt), Corn Syrup, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Cocoa Processed with Alkali, Mono & Diglycerides, Cellulose Gel, Cellulose Gum, Carob Bean Gum, Guar Gum, Carrageenan, Red 40, Yellow 5, Blue 1.

ALLERGEN INFORMATION: Contains eggs, milk and wheat
Uggh! Huge mistake! It was good, but not that good.

 I didn't even tell my husband that I did that to myself and when I longed to lay my head on his chest, I just couldn't bring myself to because I was the one responsible for making myself sick. Sort of a self-imposed punishment because I knew better.  I finally confessed to him why I was sick last night and he laughed.  I'm glad he has a good sense of humor about it because I gave myself a big enough tongue lashing to last a lifetime.  Whether I told him or not, I know his chest is always there for me to rest on.  I love my husband and am extremely grateful for him.  

Monday, July 11, 2011

For the LOVE of Competition

On December 1, 2010 Chloe transferred to a new Irish dance school and began her six-month suspension from competition.  Our family enjoyed the financial break of competitions, but during the fifth month,  it was evident Chloe, her dad and I were suffering from extreme Feis withdrawal.  

Every month we took photos of her "celebrating", but I can't seem to find them all.  Oh well, at least I have this one...  

On December 8, 2010, Chloe went into Primary Children's Medical Center to have a special surgery, called a partial epiphysiodesis (PE) on her feet.  She suffered from terrible Juvenile Bunions for several years before we decided to get treatment.  I knew sore feet was normal with competitive Irish Dancing, but the red, swollen, bent big toes were not.  Well, at least they aren't healthy normal, though many vigorous dancers/athletes who spend hours upon hours each week do suffer from many feet issues, including bunions.  Basically her Orthopedic doctor drilled into each foot and drilled out the growth plate of the second metatarsal.  Over the past six months I have seen a pretty significant improvement in her left foot, but the right still seems pretty "bunion-y" to me.  As she continues to grow over the next year we will hopefully see them improve even more.

Chloe has spent the last 6 months practicing, making friends, nursing injuries, watching her calf muscles grow rather large,  learning new technique, having sleepovers, memorizing new steps, enjoying her place on the Choreography team, supporting her fellow teammates during their competitions, and SWEATING.  

This girl practices so much she makes me tired.  Sure wish I could harness some of her energy...or at the very least, have her burn some of my calories.  

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Greater things are yet to come...

We're moving in 5 weeks.  We've barely started packing and I'm willing myself to not freak out.  I know things will work out for the best, but putting all of our stuff in storage and relying on God's mercy and provision is terrifying to me.  I can totally hear half of you saying..."You're crazy, Yo!" and the other half proclaiming God's blessings on our family.  Why?  Cuz that's what I, at any given point in the day, am saying to myself.  


The kids are on Spring Break this week and we're supposed to be packing like mad banshees, but that hasn't happened yet.  Monday was a day full of errands and today was my dear husbands 40th birthday, so I couldn't force him to "work", now could I?  Tomorrow will be a BUSY day and I'm skipping morning Bible Study just to prove to myself how important it is that we
finish start packing.


Caleb started his first organized team sport today.  He was so excited to go to practice he wore his jersey all day.  He's such a cutie and seems to fit right in with team sports.  He even suggested the team name, the Red Phoenix's, and his team unanimously agreed!  

 I think he's going to be a GREAT soccer player!!  I can't believe we have waited so long to get him involved.  

Sure, he was a good Irish dancer, but that wasn't his thing.  He's definitely a 
sporty kid, but he sure could get jiggy with it when he wanted to.  

This is how he celebrates, as goalie for the day, when his team won in the scrimmage.  Should we begin "Sportsmanship" discussions or let him enjoy the moment?

Of course we will certainly discuss it.....but not just yet.  

Monday, March 14, 2011

What is March?


...or, you know, TCRG's.  Same thing!  

St. Patrick's Day Parades and lots of green!

These three look a wee Irish and up to no good! Stay outta trouble

Dancing in the street.

A cute guy wearing a kilt.

March is Irish Dance!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

What it's all about!

Sure...trophies (only a few pictured), gobs of neck-breaking medals (not pictured), "Good Luck" signs for your first North American National's (NAN's), and other memorabilia of your childhood are a super-fun part of being a competitive Irish Dancer, but that's not what it's all about....

Spending hours upon hours dancing in the studio, or at home, certainly needs to be balanced with friendships.  And, at 11 years old, having a super clean messy room and a friend to play with hang out with is what truly matters.  These are the memories that will last.  

The memories you make with old dance friends, new dance friends and friends from afar are precious and it warms my heart to see my daughter living these experiences. 

The lights will dim or shine for another well deserving dancer, the medals will tarnish, the trophies will collect (lots of!) dust and the sashes will fray.  That's just how it works...

The "Remember when we were little and slathered make-up all over each other, ate tons of pizza and drank so much root beer we were sick?" moments will bring back those girly giggles once again.  That's when you'll remember how friendships make you feel...


Friday, January 14, 2011

Defying Gravity

Having a child with Learning Disabilities is...hard.  It just is. The world is pulling him down while he is trying to reach for Broadway stars!  His name in lights on Broadway or just being in a local production, dancing, singing and, oh boy...acting!  This kid amazes me. He is so strong, so determined and fights through his learning disabilities the best way he can. 

Casey is our amazingly talented, right-brained learner.  It's not that this is the best way for him to learn, it's the only way for him to learn.  Casey was diagnosed as having a Left-Brain Cognitive Disorder. His testing showed scores that were on the level of someone who had a Traumatic Brain Injury, or TBI.  Because he didn't suffer from an accident, they could not diagnose him with TBI, so instead they gave him the LBCD diagnosis.  It was hard when he was diagnosed because I didn't know how he would manage.  My first thoughts were years away from that day....What would his life be like?  Could he get a job in the real world?   Would he ever be able to support a family?  Then I began to wonder how kids would treat him at school? Would his innocence be destroyed by bullies?  Would he ever feel like he could succeed or would he always feel behind, dumb, lazy?

For years the schools would pass him off. They dismissed my worries and brushed off my requests to have him tested.  I remember going to every teacher from 1st grade to 5th grade and each one would dismiss me.  It wasn't until we moved to a new district and I demanded that he be tested that we found out he would require an IEP (Individualized Education Plan). Luckily, a couple months before he was tested at the school, I had notified our family doctor of my worries and he referred me to a NeuroPsychologist to have him tested.  We received a very detailed diagnosis and this helped us when we finally had our first IEP meeting with the school at the end of his 6th grade year.  Yes, the end.  How convenient for them.  Thus, the IEP was not solidified until his 7th grade year.  Very frustrating. 

Casey is currently a Freshman in High School. I put in him a local Jr. High in 7th grade and pulled him out to part time home school him because they could not meet his needs.  It truly was better for him to be at home, despite my lack of homeschooling ability, however, we made the decision to put him into a local charter school that was more hands on for his 8th grade year.  He did okay in the school even though the Special Ed department was wishy-washy and almost non-existant at times.  Because it was an expeditionary learning school, it suited his right-brained needs more often than the local Jr. High did.  Last year we had to make a decision, and it was hard.  Do we keep our fourteen year old boy close to home, but in a school that would not meet his needs and one that would shove him out into the High School world (completely unprepared) at 10th grade, or do we let him open his dramatic wings and commute to a performing arts school in our state? 

Casey is a natural performer and, after much debate,  we felt enrolling him into a local Performing Arts High School would be best for him.  My mother is amazing and takes Casey to school in the mornings and then he rides the bus and Trax system home each day.  He is learning lots of wonderful skills and spreading his wings with this opportunity, yet it isn't without issues.  The performing arts school is a charter school on the East side of the valley (we live on the West) and it is located right inside a public High School that offers 9-12 (most of our schools here only offer 10-12).  So, he's duel enrolled in both schools.  He gets his academics from the public school and his electives (performing arts) in his Charter school.  It's been difficult, to put it mildly, to deal with both schools regarding Casey's IEP, but the counselor has been great and very helpful.  This is where he is today and with a few minor changes to this next term, we feel he will succeed and things will get better....for this year. One never knows what will change in the next few months, what issues he will have and/or what issues his new teachers will have. I'm just crossing my fingers.

Casey is not dyslexic, but has significant trouble reading and comprehension. He has recently increased his reading fluency from 3-4 grade to a 6th grade level, however his comprehension of what he reads has dropped from a 4th grade level to a low 3rd grade level.  He can sound out more words and read faster, but that's it.

Casey spells phonetically.  He writes at a 2nd grade level and has a rudimentary pencil grasp which tires out his hand very quickly.  It's hard to read what he has written most times, but this kid is amazingly creative and if given an opportunity to write what he wants, in his format, in his way, he'll shine! 

Casey does not suffer from expressive communication delays, though he does lack confidence in his ability to communicate effectively and that has become very noticeable this year.  Casey has an extremely difficult time with receptive communication.  He does not understand/comprehend at times.  You can see his brain trying to process what you've said into an easier format that he can understand and for home use that is okay, but he gets so lost and so behind in classes where he is supposed to follow instructions or long lists.  It's best to use simple speech and instructions.  

His favorite class is Theatre Foundations I.  His teacher loves him, has high hopes for him and, according to her, Casey is "socially accepted and the class enjoys having him".  Due to his growing academic needs, Casey, just yesterday, had to drop another performing arts class (thankfully not the one above) to add in a class that will give him time each day to get work done.  He only had two classes! I feel horrible about this and not even knowing "it's for the best." helps.  Okay, it does a little when I think about it rationally, but this kid should be having at least 3 performing arts classes, not just 1.  It's just hard, hard, HARD!  Hard to see him lose more opportunities to do what he loves because he has to be in a special reading class and Language Art's class or because he needs a study skills class and because he needs to have Computer Tech and Health and blah,blah,blah.  

I'm just a frustrated mama, guys.  I'll process it and be okay, eventually.  All I have to do is look at my fourteen year old son and see his smile.  Despite his struggles and all of our worries...this young man is definitely Defying Gravity!!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


I'm not even going to start my first post back by giving some lame excuse as to why I haven't blogged, or bore you with a two-hour read on what's been going on in my life the past year. Instead, we'll just start fresh and realize that just as there are gaps in my ever-fading memory...there will be gaps in my blog from time to time.

I definitely consider myself "semi-organized", and as you've noticed...that's the name of my blog. However, lately I have been feeling rather unorganized and it's starting to freak me out. I walk around the house forgetting what I was doing before, where I was going, losing items that are right under my nose, and wondering where all the hours in the day went. I'm constantly fretting over what needs to be done and/or avoiding what needs to be done. Like right now. My brain wants to think, sort out, write. My body does not want to do laundry, straighten up, grocery shop, or clean toilets.

Guess what! The plow just came down our street. I bet the snowmobilers will be pretty irked when they find out. They really shouldn't be snowmobiling on the street anyway. If I had a radar gun I'm sure I could clock them at over 40 mph, but I don't, so I don't have any proof. Regardless, our street is a typical 25 mph, not 40+. Next time they snowmobile down my street I'll throw my husbands Highland Games stone at one of them. For fun. I'm sure I'll miss because I can't throw worth a darn, but it will be fun trying to knock them off. Sort of like Adult Chucky Cheese games. Or something.

Where were we? Oh yes, UNorganized. Me, that is. I'm very unorganized.

By January 1, 2008, I had about 237.3 goals detailed out, on paper, that I wanted to accomplish by 2009. I made a huge, rather colorful, table where I was supposed to accomplish these small goals and then check them off. The list lasted a few months and I did get quite a few things accomplished, but it quickly fell to the does everything I think is going to revolutionize my life. I thought I was going to start sewing cloth diapers for a few friends, but quickly tired of that notion. I have wanted to begin blogging again for over a year now and every time I sit down to write something I draw a blank. Anything I write usually gets deleted and I feel so frustrated at the time I've wasted. My laundry is in heaps, my bathrooms stink and are grungy, my closets are so out of control it stresses me out just to go in there. I had grand plans to reclaim my house over the holiday break, yet nothing was accomplished. I didn't even get all the Christmas decorations down until yesterday. It was January fourth! That is not me people! Although, to be completely honest, it was my husband who actually put the Christmas decor away. If not, the boxes would still be piled on top of each other and my kitchen table would be filled with ornaments and snowmen until this brain fog lifted. I am usually more on top of things, so why do I feel so out-of-sorts? Thankfully, my sweet husband has stepped up to the plate and taken care of the things I'm forgetting. I had jeans to wear because of him and I haven't had to wear his undies for at least a month. Without him, I am sure I would have completely lost my mind by now.

I've missed writing down my thoughts. Maybe this is what I need to refocus, since I process better when things are written down. Now, if I could just remember to blog.