Holly Jolly Christmas

This year we were surprised that Santa showed up at our house a few days before Christmas. Not only did the jolly man show up, but he brought us a huge Christmas dinner, a present for each of us and a bit of cash that we quickly put into our Culligan water jug. The kids were excited, to say the least. I guess a few friends (ahem!) thought our family could use a little help this year and we appreciate Santa & all our friends tremendously! We are truly blessed.

Next year, we will be helping another family in need. Pay It Forward. Right?

And, as some of you may be wondering...

We did follow through with our plan of not spending money on Christmas presents. It was hard. Very hard. However, I am happy that we didn't cave. We felt a tinge of guilt the past couple days and when Rob or I wanted to buy something, we helped each other refocus. It was hard not having any presents for the children and family, but we pulled through. Most importantly, we did not spend our "bill money" on last minute Christmas gifts and we survived the day.

My mom, Nana & Rob's family came over to our house for a Christmas brunch. The food was amazing and I enjoyed having everyone here. After the family left, we met my mom at the movie theatre (our Christmas Tradition) to see a movie. I was surprised at how full each showing was (why don't I remember how full it usually is?) and ended up stuck with Alvin and the Chipmunks. Let's just say that I'm hoping Rob will take me to see a different movie one of these nights...soon. (Honey, are you listening?)

This next week will be full of family time, so I am taking a break from blogging until January 1, 2010. I'm hoping to have a wonderful give-away and a list of 2010 goals to tell you about, too.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

It will be okay.

St. Patrick's Day 2002 (Do you see Caleb in the back?)

This photo made me laugh today, so I figured I would show it to you all. It's a reminder that "It will be okay." Sometimes that is all I want to hear. It's comforting even when you want it to be okay now, not later.

So, that's what I am going to keep telling myself. Over and over. And over. Until I believe it. This may take awhile. *sigh*

I've been busy working, cleaning, and decorating for Christmas. Rob and I have been arguing alot and the kids are actually doing okay. Why are the holidays so stressful on parents?

I'm trying so very hard to keep my mind off of our finances, or lack thereof. I'm trying to stick to the plan we (as a family) decided on. Not that it would be any different without the plan, but it's nice to know that we have a future goal to help us forget about this Christmas (as in gifts). Then reality strikes, as it always does, (darn reality) and I realize that after paying for 2-3 implants (in March/April), braces payments, and trying to get things back on track (or better!) with our finances that we may not even reach that goal. We may not get to Florida.

How devestating would that be to our children? To us? I can't even think about it right now. It makes me cry. I've been crying alot lately.

Through many tears I am constantly having to revisit a recent post to remind myself it's okay that Christmas will be different this year. Part of me doesn't even want to decorate. I feel like only decorating the bare minimum and then I feel like a horrible mom and decide to go the opposite extreme. Can you guess how many times I've gone into Michael's without buying anything or driven by my favorite stores thinking that I could justify my decoration expense because well, "We aren't celebrating Christmas with gifts this year, so I should make my house all beautiful and such."

My often dwelling thought is that adding more decorations will only help improve the festiveness and joy around us. Uh, more like, it will help find the festiveness and joy.

I've had several people want to help us with Christmas, but really...there are people much worse off than we are. Our kids do not go without throughout the year and just because there isn't something under the Christmas tree, it isn't going to kill them. If anything, it will help build character. Right?

Am I completely fooling myself?

I need strength.

You will never know how much your comments mean to me. Your comments on my blog (which I love!), Facebook, and Twittter are helpful and inspiring. They help me to not feel like a scrooge.

The younger three kids are off school after today and my older boys are out the middle of next week. Rob is taking a couple weeks vacation from his main job (he has lots of time, but will still work his 2nd job.) and we are going to spend days having fun. I am also taking a couple days off from my part-time schedule to be at home with the kids and Rob, so it will be nice doing things as a family.

Maybe my amazing husband and I can pawn off the kids and spend a day just being together here, at home. That would be nice! We really need some time away (or here...alone) to just focus on each other and our marriage.

We'll see.

Christmas will be different this year.

Over the past couple years our family has scaled back on Christmas giving. This year we're scaling back even more and you know what? It's okay. Really, it is.

This was my post from last year.

Last year we told the kids "There will not be much under the Christmas tree." and there wasn't. Aside from the 20" iMac that was given to our family for Christmas (though we opened it right after Thanksgiving!) there wasn't much under the tree. What money we had went to bills and food. In hindsight we should have waited until Christmas to break out the computer, but we were so excited. We were able to talk our family members into helping with the computer instead of buying other gifts, so (for the kids) it was a bit difficult for them to watch everyone else open gifts while they watched. We had to constantly remind them that they got the computer. If it weren't for my mom, the kids wouldn't have had that Wii under our home Christmas tree. That's about all they received "from us" (which is more than we ever imagined), except for a new pair of pajamas and a few small items. The Wii was a hit, of course, so Christmas Day was a success in that sense. Still, I couldn't help but feel guilt as I scanned my children's faces. Sometimes I wonder if Caleb (in the picture below) is feeling sad because he didn't get what he wanted. "Lots of Star War's Legos!"

Christmas will be different this year.

This year, I am on a mission to make Christmas the best one yet! I really feel that we can do without Christmas presents this year. We don't need presents in order to have a great time. I don't need to stress out because there is nothing to wrap. I don't need to feel like a failure because my kids don't have the latest gadgets. Nor do I have to feel guilty that they don't have anything under the tree.

For years we would pile gifts atop gifts under the tree. We were trapped in the commercialism and social views of modern day Christmas. Instead of my husband and I working hard to develop Christmas Traditions that would form lasting memories, we worried about who was getting what and did we have enough money to pay for it all. Juggling checks and hoping gifts of money from family would come in at the right time so we could buy what we knew the children wanted. Then, when we thought we were done shopping, we would remember that we still needed to buy for families and friends. The constant trips to various stores to "find the right gift" was overwhelming and tiring. Over the past several years, we've dropped the family and friends (out of necessity) and only focused on our children and mothers. And still, this year, we're narrowing it down even more.

Each and every year I dreaded the holidays. There was always a feeling of not being good enough. The guilt and shame ruined our Joy. Some years not one ounce of Joy would be felt and on those years where I tried really hard, I failed that much more. My husband and I fought every year because of all the stress. This is not how Christmas is supposed to be. It's just not good! I don't want this to be our children's memories of the Christmas holiday. I don't want them to remember that during their Christmas break from school, mom was out shopping every day, tired, angry, bitter and frustrated.

Instead, I want the sweet smell of cookies baking in the oven to greet them as they walk in from playing in the snow. I want their friends to come in and sit and laugh at our kitchen table while warming up with a cup of hot cocoa. I want to drive around the city looking at the lights and counting all the ones on your side of the car (no cheating!!) to see who wins, like my brother and I used to do every winter. By the way, nobody wins anything, it's just all in fun.

This year I say, NO MORE!

Christmas will be different this year.

This year it will be hard work for Rob and I to keep on this path. We will need to remind each other it's going to be okay. When we're feeling down or the kids say something and we start to feel the teensiest bit of guilt, we'll have to just keep moving forward. Christmas isn't about gifts whether you can afford them or not. Children will not usually remember what was under the tree, they'll remember the yearly traditions that were so much fun.

In order to help our children with the new Christmas idea, we decided to put all our extra money into a family vacation. If you've read this post, you know that we have a very strong desire to go to Orlando, Florida in July 2010. We've already had our family meeting and, at first, Casey and Caleb weren't on board. At all. They wanted gifts that we couldn't afford and gifts that would only be fun for the first day or two. If we were lucky, a week. Then I had a bright idea. I urged them to check out DisneyWorld and all the other things we could possibly see while in Florida on the web. They researched a few places and then came to us with an emphatic "Yes!". We were all on board and everyone is excited. So excited that we currently have some $31 dollars in the jug. *We have a long way to go, but we really do hope to get there!

It's a good thing, too, because this Christmas it doesn't mean that we'll be able to stick what money we would have normally spent on Christmas gifts into our "Orlando Fund" Culligan water jug, though I'm sure we'll stick a few dollars in there. It just means that we've transferred our thoughts from gifts on Christmas to a future goal. It's no longer about an individual, but about our family. That's the first step. We have a future goal that is (with lots of work and sacrifice) going to take us on a family vacation.

*As for how we will get enough money to actually take the trip to watch Chloe compete in the North American Championships, well, I can only pray, be disciplined, fundraise and hope for corporate sponsors and donations.

Most everyone is struggling finacially this year. It doesn't matter if you make the same amount as you did last year, have a second job, or a third job. Things are tight. You've felt it at the gas pump, in the grocery store and even in your day to day spending. We've had to tighten things significantly and change our spending habits. I am no longer an impluse shopper. I've broken the habit of "nickel and diming" and we rarely eat out as a family. If we do eat out, it's for lunch and it's just Rob and I. It's a nice way to cut back and still have that "date". The menu is cheaper and we're more likely to choose Chick-Fil-A than we are Chili's. We also share meals and we've found a local Mexican restaurant where the daily special of Chili Verde is just $4.99. We've even had to come to the hard realization that we were not careful with our finances before and now we have to do things MUCH different. That includes Christmas.

Which is why....

Christmas will be different this year.

Are you struggling with finances this year and would like some ideas on how to spend less for Christmas or totally change the social traditions and start making your own? Here are some of my own ideas and even a link where I found some great ideas, too.

1. Spend time teaching your children how to bake. It's a great skill, plus it teaches them simple math problems. Bake cookies, cakes and breads for your neighbors, family and friends. You don't have to give them the whole loaf or batch. Count how many are in the family and give them a plate with enough to give each of them one to two treats.

2. Write a letter to your loved one (friend, neighbor, family) and tell them how much they mean to you. You don't have to buy pretty stationary, just write (or type) it out, roll it up and tie it with ribbon. They'll appreciate it more than you will ever know.

3. While the kids are off of school, get them in on making menu's for the next two weeks. Not only will it teach them what goes in to all the meals they eat, but they'll begin to see just how much work it is for mom when they don't help. Can you tell that's my struggle? Let them make the menus, grocery list and let them shop. It doesn't end there. They help put the groceries away, maybe reorganize the fridge and pantry while they're at it (that's what Chloe would do) and even make the meals, too. Even the young ones can make pb&j with a plastic knife or a mini spatula.

4. Watch Christmas movies, eat popcorn, make pizza's and laugh yourself silly. That's what we'll be doing.

Elf is my favorite.

"Call me elf one more time!"

"He's an angry elf."

Haha! I love that movie!

"I like smiling. Smiling's my favorite!"

See? I just can't stop!

The part where he gets hit by the taxi and goes up the escalator are classic.

Okay, enough about Elf. Watch many different movies. If you don't have many or would rather not rent them, just ask your friends what they have in thier collection. Send an email out and see how many responses you get. List the movies you have in your collection in the email and maybe you'll be able to trade with a few friends over the holidays. Sharing is always good! Just remember to give them back and handle the DVD's properly and return them as soon as you can. Which, reminds me....

Anyway, while I search for that one movie I keep forgetting to return to a friend (sorry!), why don't you take a few moments to check out these links. If you have some of your own to share, please leave them in a comment!

Buy Nothing Christmas

50 Frugal Christmas Ideas

Frugal Christmas

"Why don't you celebrate Halloween?"

Inevitably, I get asked the Halloween question at least once a year. And, you know what? That's okay. I really don't mind.

In our family, the answer you get really depends on who you ask.

Lara from The Lazy Organizer (one of my favorite blogs!) has chosen to host a blog carnival for anyone who does things a little different on Halloween. If you want to read how The Lazy Organizer and others (like me) spent the holiday, go here.

Personally, I really don't care to bore you with all the different perspectives and beliefs, or even my husbands in-depth view of Halloween.

You're welcome!

However, I will tell you my main reasons for not celebrating the traditional Halloween (or "Hallelujah" as I like to call it) and why we don't make it such a big deal.

The Practical Reasons:

• I really do not like spending tons of money on bags of candy. When I see pallets of Halloween candy in the stores, I break out in hives. Seriously. It causes me to have a mini anxiety attack just thinking about the upcoming holiday. Plus, when I must think of ways to spread out our groceries, I cannot fathom spending $20-$50 dollars on treats to give away. Call me a scrooge or call me frugal. I'll accept either and I will not be offended.

• Costumes* cost a lot of money and even though we haven't purchased costumes for Halloween in 8 years, it's inevitable our children will cry for one. This year was no exception.

• I enjoy going to one venue and letting the kids (and myself) be warm and have fun. In Utah, it's not unreasonable to have a foot of snow on the ground and when that happens, TOTing isn't fun. At all. Thankfully, this year we didn't have to deal with that, but it was a bit cold. Rob and I were a bit laid back this year, too. Still suffering from the craziness of the day we were both exhausted and just needed some down time. We pretty much stayed together in various parts of the church while the kids had fun with their friends and siblings.

• My kids are learning a valuable lesson. That just because the world chooses to celebrate a holiday one way, it does not mean we have to follow along. We can be strong and adhere to our own personal convictions because ultimately, at the end of the evening, we want to feel good about the choices we've made. We have to take into account our own personal beliefs and go with that. It's okay to be different and while your friends may not understand, it's not your friends who will be with you 10, 20, 40 years from now, it's your family. Family is the most important part of any holiday.

The following are just a few photos I was able to snap in the evening from my iPhone. The day did not go as planned. I was a bit stressed out by the time we headed to the party and I forgot my camera. We had an impromtu Insta-Care visit for Chloe, a last minute Worship band practice for Rob and, of course, Irish Dance practice.

I don't even know who the kid is, but the Boba Fett costume is awesome! Or is it, Jango Fett?

Chloe waiting to throw some hoops.

This was a new game that pretty much died an hour into the evening. Oh well, the kids love it while it lasted.

We all know what this game is! Can you spot the blue frog? Sorry...I forgot my good camera.

This year they had a toddler area for the little ones. It was a great spot for the parents to rest, too.

Caleb beat me at this game. Obviously, my 8 year old has a better trigger finger than I.

I'm not really sure what Chloe was. I told her she was a "Biker Chick for Jesus!".

There were so many other games and areas of the church that I didn't even get to photograph. They also had a puppet show that I didn't get to see. They served chili, hotdogs and nachos for Free, so even though it wasn't healthy, it was something other than candy. The kids also had fun on the hay ride, sipping hot chocolate and keeping an eye out for the items on their scavenger hunt list.

* Costumes:

Every year our children try to get us to buy them something. Each year the whining is much less than the year before because we haven't given in, but it's whining none-the-less. This year, Chloe and Braden were fit to be tied because Caleb was getting an army costume and they were getting "nothing". Not because we were buying him one, but because his birthday falls right before Halloween and every year he has chosen to purchase some sort of costume with his birthday money.

Caleb enjoying his cotton candy while waiting for his turn at another game.

Last year it was a very high quality Disney "Jack Sparrow" costume and the year before he was a Star Wars Clone Trooper. When the kids were younger, I would hop into Gymboree or Gap Kids to see if there was anything on sale. I abhor cheapy plastic costumes and refuse to spend good money on them. They'll be useless within a week or two. Several times I scored big and was able to purchase dress-up costumes for play, not just for Halloween. Now that the kids are older, we require them to use their imaginations and refuse to spend money** on anything for Halloween. I am amazed at how creative my children can be when they must think up something themselves. The whole "No TV" thing has helped foster creativity, too, but that's a whole other story.

**I did cave this year and bought Braden (one of my almost 16 year olds) a $0.97 plastic top hat so he could be "Slash" or "Ozzy", or whatever he was. Plus, the reason I bought it was because I wanted to surprise him. It's not often he only wants something that is 97 cents, so I got a huge smile, a "Thank You, Mom!" and a happy teenager for only a buck. That is something to be Joyful about!!

• Brenden (16)-Some emo/punk person with really tight purple pants. (Oy!)
• Braden (16) -Slash/Ozzy. Someone with long black hair and a top hat.
• Casey (13)-A mix of different pieces of clothing that he said was a "mime".
• Chloe (10)-A biker chick for Christ, but it changed often.
• Caleb (8)- An army guy.

Chloe waiting for her turn to pop some balloon's.

Too Old to Celebrate (with family)?:

This year was a bit different in how we spent the evening. While we did go to the Harvest Party at Calvary Chapel of Salt Lake City, we did not go as a whole family. This was our first Halloween apart. It was quite apparent that our teenager's didn't want to have anything to do with the Harvest Party. We don't attend CCSLC, so they weren't able to volunteer to run game booth's, etc. So, instead of hanging out with us, our (almost) sixteen year old twin boys decided they would rather spend time with their friends.

I'm not sure why they would want to do a thing like that, but I'll try not to take it personally.

The twins actually had something else planned. Our home church was holding a youth conference on "Heaven & Hell" and a Halloween Howl (dance) afterwards. It's been a bit difficult trying to find something that they could do that didn't contradict everything we've instilled in them the past eight years. Some friends were going to haunted houses (Nope!) and some school friends were having parties (Um, I don't think so!). The dance (at the church) wasn't quite what I had hoped, in fact, I doubt we'll allow them to attend a Halloween event at our home church ever again.

Next year I am thinking we may just try to find a service project to do. Maybe serve soup to the homeless? We have a year to plan, but I would rather do something as a whole family while we still can.

Regardless, a great time was had by all at our non-traditional celebration. What did you do on Hallelujah or Halloween?

Valentine's Day Decadence

I wanted to share a wonderfully decadent dessert that I've made for Valentine's Day for the past 4 years.  At the time, I was an avid follower of Chookooloonk's who first posted about the scrumptious cake she chose to make for her daughter's first birthday.  I still read her blog from time to time....she's an amazing photographer!  My family and friends have begged me to make this cake ever since day one.  It's an easy recipe and one that will not disappoint. Well, unless you're my mother and would prefer something made with vanilla or banana.  The less chocolate, the better.  However, you could be like my Nana who absolutely loves chocolate, in which case, you'll love this recipe.  Just like her.

By the way, you can buy the heart shaped bundt pan at Spoon's & Spice,  if you're wondering. 

My glaze, on this cake,  didn't turn out smooth because I didn't have any light corn syrup, but it was still yummy.  

You really don't even need frosting or glaze.  It's so rich and moist as is.  I'll have you know that I am one of those crazy people that removes 80% of the frosting before I even take a bite of cake.  I also prefer the middle,  so my "you don't need frosting" tip might not be for those of you who prefer a corner piece.  

CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHIP CAKE

1 18.25-oz package chocolate cake mix (I use the Devil's Food from Duncan Hines)

1 3.9-oz package instant chocolate pudding mix
1 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1/2 cup hot water
1 cup sour cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (175 degrees Celcius). Grease and flour a bundt pan. I love the Crisco spray (like Pam) that has flour in it.

2. Combine cake mix, pudding mix, oil, eggs, hot water, sour cream and vanilla. Beat until smooth. Stir in chocolate chips. Pour batter into bundt pan.

3. Bake for 1 hour. Allow to cool for 10 minutes, then invert cake onto wire rack and let cool completely.

DARK CHOCOLATE GLAZE

4 oz semi-sweet dark chocolate (again, I like Ghirardelli's)
3 tbsp butter
1 tbsp milk
1 tbsp light corn syrup
1/4 tsp vanilla

In small, heavy saucepan or microwave oven on medium, melt broken chocolate with butter. Stir frequently until smooth. Remove from heat. Stir in milk, syrup and vanilla. When glaze is cool, pour onto cake. Let glaze run down sides. Chill about 10 minutes to set glaze.

*Note* I did copy and paste the recipe from Chookooloonk's and added a few of my own recommendations.  Here is a direct link to that post.  

Some Christmas Pictures

I just recently found out that the 'White Balance' setting on my camera is really important in low light settings. Who knew? Too bad I didn't realize this before the Christmas photos were taken. My camera is a Sony DSC-H5 and while it has many options it does not take nearly the quality that I would like. I shouldn't have taken that digital photography class. Now I'm wanting a DSLR. Someday......

For now I present you with a few Christmas pictures. Enjoy!!

L-R: Braden, Casey, Caleb, Brenden, Chloe

The kids were excited to get the Wii and a few other small gifts on Christmas day. The main present was a huge blessing and purchased the day after Thanksgiving...of course there was no way we could wait to surprise them with it!!! With "what we would have spent on you" gifts from family members we were able to get a 20" iMac for the family. Some of the monetary gifts spilled over to help purchase a portion of the Wii, too.

Chloe (9) wanted Mancala for Christmas. We happily obliged...especially since it's only $4.99 at Target. Everyone loves playing this game.

Rob & Caleb (7) are pretending to be asleep. You know...because it just looks good to fake like you're asleep. I guess. Lilo (the cat) just barely closed her eyes. She was worn out from playing with her new mouse. Perhaps they've called a truce.

Christmas brunch was yummy! Mmmm......Cinnamon Rolls.

We had a very white Christmas as you can see. It was beautifully peaceful. Unfortunately, my mom & Nana were both snowed in where they lived and roads were very dangerous. I felt bad they were both home alone on Christmas.

"Isn't there a child labor law? Or something like that?"

Gotta love teenagers!!


Brenden (15) was helping assess the damage. The wind tore off the gate and a section of fence (behind Brenden). When he tried to move it the pieces just fell apart.

My Nana has the greenest thumb and my mom comes in a close 2nd. These were in my Nana's sunroom a few days after Christmas when we finally were able to drive to her house. The next few pictures are of the kids playing at Nana's house.

Caleb (7)

Casey (12) & Brenden (15)

Caleb, Chloe, Braden & Casey