My Blogging Life

I've had a few blogs in the past and Google claims I am not the owner of them...or at least they can't get enough information from their automated forms to determine if I am the real owner or not.  You would think they would just contact me personally. 

After creating Semi-Organized Mom, I got tired of viewing my main page and only seeing a handful of posts...especially when I've been blogging off and on since 2005.  So....

Tonight I've been viewing my old blogs (which are still there..dumb Google) and retrieving my old photo's and blog posts.  It's been a pretty big undertaking, posting some...saving others,  and I'm not even close to being done.  The post below this was one that slipped by me and ended up as a new post.  Oh well....I'm 32 in that post.  You can believe it's from today if you want.  

  

another post of jumbled thoughts.....

As I was reading one of Mel's blog entries, I found myself dreaming of what I've never had.

A tight, flat belly.

I don't ever recall being "skinny", nor do I recall really caring about it. I didn't play sports or exercise so my muscles weren't very tone in the first place. I think I, uh, failed Gym in high school. 

Nutrition wasn't high on my priority list either. Sure, like some teenage girls, I would refuse to eat while in the presence of a boy I liked....actually, pretty much any boy. This meant I hardly ever ate anything healthy while in school. When we moved to Utah and I was no longer forced to eat in the cafeteria with the whole school, I was able to hide a candy bar (non gooey of course) in my backpack and take a chunk out without anyone noticing I was eating. I'd guzzle down soda after soda and not care about what I was putting into my body. In my teenage years, I probably drank a gallon of water......unless I was forced to because of an ultrasound or whatever. Even then, I'd puke it up. Nasty vile water. By the time I would arrive home from an outing or school, I'd be gorging myself on whatever I could find or I'd make a batch of brownies and eat until I was sick. When I turned 16 and was able to drive, I found myself using what money I had to secretly buy food through the drive-thru's. I mean, if I went into McDonalds by myself I might run into a group of kids from school. The horror!!!

Getting married at 17 and pregnant with TWINS at 18 didn't leave me much time to worry about my figure then either. We then had 5 more pregnancies (two ended in miscarriage). I was trying hard to be a mom. I didn't have much time for myself and when I did, it was wondering what the next meal would be or where we would eat out next. I used food to smother the feelings of boredom, guilt, anger, depression, horrible self image/self esteem issues, jealousy, sadness and frustration.

I'm 32 now and I doubt I'll ever have a tight, flat belly unless it's surgically done. Currently, the 37 lbs I've lost has left what was a firmer "spare tire" into a deflated mass of skin that just...hangs. It's riddled with stretch marks that are as wide as the Grand Canyon (thanks twins!!) and it's a daily reminder of how I let myself be unhealthy from a very early age.

I have learned many things since joining Weight Watcher's last January.

1. I am in control of what I eat.
2. It's okay to feel my emotions.
3. It doesn't help anything if I stuff them away. Oh..I'm a good stuffer!!
4. I can make good choices, even when I don't want to.
5. What I crave usually reflects my mood.
6. Healthy food tastes good.
7. High fat foods make my tummy hurt.

and the most important of them all.....

8. I CAN wear tighter shirts even though I'm not "skinny". Take a look at most "thin" women (teens included) wearing the layered tighter (stretchy) shirts. They too have a jiggly mass around their midsection and the shirts still look cute on them.

I want! I want! I want!

This is the most amazing Daily System available.

And the cost is pretty high, too! 

For just the 3 pieces I want in black wood (including the metal hanging bar), it would cost me about $180 with shipping*. That is plain ridiculious. I couldn't imagine spending that much, but oh how I want it. 

I've been to at least 10 different stores hoping to find something that would hold mail, keys and look nice on the wall. I haven't been able to find anything. It has to be wood and have a couple compartments. Here is a basic idea that I found on Just Organize Your Stuff (JOYS), but then when I emailed her and asked where she got it (a seasonal item from Sam's Club)she just HAD to send me a link to the one she "someday" hoped to get. That, my friends, would be the Pottery Barn Daily System mentioned above. 

SIGH

Now I shall forever be in search of something comparable to either one....

Just keep searching....Just keep searching....

*$180 would be the SALE price...not the original price. DOUBLE SIGH

Hey Delta!!!

Get a load of this!!!!!!!!!!




This is me nursing my son on his FIRST birthday. Yep, he was exactly 12 months old at the time. Oh, I'm sure you'll love to know that we happily nursed until he was 2.5 YEARS old!! He weaned himself. BOOYAH!!!

My Dad

Today marks the 10th Anniversary of my fathers passing. He was 72 when he died. Much too young....because I was only 22 years old. I miss him. I don't talk about him very much because it's still hard for me.

Due to my lack of savvy computer equipment over the past few years, I have not scanned a photo of my father. How embarassing!! So today I did a search of him, hoping I would find at least a picture of him in all the Hall of Fame's he was in, but I couldn't. I did however find a blank page dedicated to him, but they had not put anything on it. I contacted them and this is what I received today.

USA Deaf Sports Federation- Hall of Fame (formerly known as AAAD)

1990
LYLE G. “MORTY” MORTENSEN
Utah

Lyle, known to many of the deaf as “Morty,” was born in Emery, UT. He lost his hearing when he was 9 years old. He was ice-skating with a group of friends - they were holding onto a rope attached to saddle on horse and the line “whiplashed” and he slipped, got thrown, hit his head on ground and this resulted in a 106-degree fever. Its medical term was called “cerebral meningitis’.

He attended the Utah School for the Deaf and Blind in Ogden, UT. He was an outstanding athlete and lettered in basketball and wrestling. He captained the basketball team and led them winning several games.

He attended Gallaudet College and graduated from Kansas University. While at Gallaudet, he was involved in basketball, track and tennis. He was an excellent student, majoring in Math. He was frequently asked to tutor students in Math at Utah School for the Deaf and Gallaudet College.

He provided much leadership expertise thru achievement at the regional and club level. He worked his way up from Midwest Athletic Association of the Deaf (MAAD) and American Athletic Association of the Deaf (AAAD). He held many different capacities of both organizations - 7 years as vice president, 5 years as president of MAAD and 2 years as vice president; 4 years as secretary-treasurer and 3 years as president of AAAD.

He accomplished much for the AAAD in establishing national sports of softball, volleyball and basketball for women. His effort to have AAAD accept women’s tournaments on an equal footing with men’s tournaments had made it possible for women to participate in regional and national tournaments.

(15 Feb 1924 – 6 Nov 1996)

I was disappointed that they did not mention anything about his children, but I realize it's not a eulogy, it's what he accomplished whlie being a part of that organization. I'm very proud of him. I didn't realize the steps he took to make women's sports equal to mens. Way to Go DAD!!!

more in love than ever

We still have another 8 months before we celebrate FIFTEEN years together, but I thought some pictures would be nice. I got these off my moms webpage since I'm down to the basics of computer equipment and I cannot scan pictures right now.

Rob and I met in March 1992, a few weeks after my best friend and I attended a Cause & Effect concert where I swore up and down I was going to marry Rob Rowe....or at least be the mistress he always dreamed of. What do you expect from a 17 year old?

My friend, D, and I were invited to a mutual friends house in early March to hang out. We first visited our regular stomping ground, The Ritz, and "mirror danced" to Depeche Mode, The Cure, Duran Duran (remember White Lines?). Well, we probably did more freak watching than anything, but we had fun freak watching....since, you know, we weren't freaks....like them. We soon got bored and decided to head over to our friends house to check out the "skater boys" that would most definately be hanging around. Down in the basement was a group of guys. Yep...all guys. At first I was a little freaked out since D & I were the only girls, but I spotted this long bleached haired guy sitting on the couch. DANG was he cute! After checking out the goods, D and I went upstairs to talk. I told her that I wanted the blonde...as if he were some sort of material possesion. We went back downstairs, I worked my charm and voila....

I changed him into this creature....for our wedding (of course!)
























He wasn't happy about the haircut and non-grungy look, but hey...I had family to impress!!! The glasses were originally his. Pretty geeky looking don't you think? He changed to contacts a couple years later. Now, don't let the picture fool you. He is pure grunge and skater, but cleans up nicely.

Uh...yeah.

I, on the other hand, looked ravishing from the get-go.

Oh, who am I kidding? I was a 17 year old in a fru-fru-white princess style gown that made me look 20 lbs heavier than I was. Which was, at the time, only 10 lbs overweight. And what is that dorky looking thing on my head? In my defense though, 1992 was VERY close to the 1980's. America was still suffering from style shock. At least I didn't have, like, big hair or ,like, boofy bangs, Ohmygosh.

Anyway, 14 years, 5 beautiful children, and many pounds later, here we are. More in love than we ever could have imagined. He still holds me at night and kisses me softly. He makes me laugh if I cry. He tells me every day that he loves me, gropes me in the kitchen, tells me that he misses me when he's at work and never lets me forget that I'm beautiful.

I LOVE YOU, BABE!

7th Annual Utah Championships and Feis

Chloe and Casey competed in their first ever Feis (pronounced Fesh) on Saturday June 24th. I was so nervous because I just didn't know what to expect. The kids seemed excited, but I was so afraid Chloe would have a meltdown and refuse to go out on stage. The only issue I had with her was in the beginning when she kept complaining about her wig.

I also was afraid of how we would deal with winning and not winning. Or one winning and the other one not. While there were some tense moments after each dance, we got through the Feis with minimal tears and jealousy. In the end, they were happy for what they did win, happy for each other and (I believe) humbled because there were many dancers who left that day with no awards or trophies.

They competed very well and I am so proud of them. They each competed in 7 dances and one of them was a hardshoe dance that they have been working very hard on. Below are their placements.

Casey:
Light Jig- 1st place
Single Jig- 3rd place
Reel- 4th place

Chloe:
3 Hand Figure- 3rd place
Reel-2nd place
Double Jig (hardshoe)- 3rd place

Here are a few pictures for you to enjoy!!


Chloe making a funny face before the competition began.


Casey waiting for someone to tie his tie. Luckily, Dan Crawford was standing nearby and came to our rescue. Thanks Dan!! :)



I'm trying to fix Chloe's wig. She was very nervous for her first Feis. She had a mini-meltdown because of her wig. Her wig is tight each time we put it on, but that day she was crying and complaining. No matter what I did she would fuss more. I just had to fix it the best I could and leave it at that.


Chloe and her curls before the big finale....hardshoe!! She was showing me how she was going to smile for the judges. Silly girl!


Gamma (my mom), Casey & Chloe waiting for the hardshoe dance to begin. They were competing in the Double Jig or sometimes called the Treble Jig.


Nana's Claddagh brooch.


Nana's Irish Claddagh brooch with 3 pearls and Conamarra marble; Chloe loved wearing these.

One last thing. I'm standing in a very crowded hotel ballroom waiting patiently for my children to begin their dance....I think it was the Single Jig. Next to me were three teenagers who were not dancing....possibly siblings or friends of another dancer. They were talking about seeing a mother get upset with her daughter for not being "solid or tight". In other words, the girl was not dancing as well as her mother wanted her to. They continued to talk about this situation for a few minutes and then one of the boys said, "The Feismom's are so funny." and the girl next to him played out a scene that resembled what I had been doing all morning. Standing in the back and when my children would catch my eye, I'd stand up straight, arms straight down, tighten my neck, look forward and smile broadly. The teenagers laughed a little and suddenly I felt very self-conscious, but then I started to BEAM! I AM A FEISMOM! I need a bumper sticker that says,

"Feismom Driving. Watch your posture and please smile!"