Hard Habit to Break

You have to click the play button above in order to set the stage for my post. Go ahead, don't be afraid to be transported back to your youth.

First things first. Did you want to marry Peter Cetera, too? His voice made me weak in the knees and if I didn't dedicate every Chicago ballad to one of my boyfriends, I'm sure Richard Marx took up the slack.

Back then we all had big hair and looked really funny. See?

Most of my KCMO peeps will remember me looking like this.

-Me at 15-

I absolutely loved my tail. So much, in fact, that I've kept it in a memory box since the day I cut it off on July 23, 1992. This day also happens to be one of the happiest days of my life, when I married this guy.

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No matter what anyone thinks of nail biting, it's a nervous habit. Don't believe for a second that the nail biter likes what they are doing.

As long as I can remember, I've always been embarassed by how my nails looked and up until a few weeks ago, I still bit them. In fact, within the two weeks before my tooth was to be extracted and braces put on, I bit them worse than I ever had. They bled, stung and ached. No matter how short my nail was, my teeth would always find a tiny sliver to gnaw on. Should any nail begin to grow, I would immediately bite it down. What I couldn't get with my teeth, I would chop off with cuticle snips. When there wasn't any nail to bite, I would start cutting my toenails.

I don't remember when I started the habit, I just know I've tried everything to stop. I closed my hands during every picture (when I remembered) just so my ugly fingers wouldn't be photographed. In fact, you can see my hand placed just so over Rob's shoulder in our wedding invitation photo above. That's not where the photographer placed my hands. I moved them up and over his shoulder. Sneaky, I know.

I even put on acrylic nails just to bite them off, too. My first set of acrylic nails (about 15 years ago) lasted me a whopping three hours. Yeah, that was a total waste of money. Three years ago, I went on this big acrylic nail kick and paid lots of money to have pretty nails. I was embarassed when I had to show details to my clients with my nubby fingernails. I had to point out things to my clients and I always wondered if they were grossed out. I was. Still, not even secretly loathing my nasty habit helped kick it.

A few weeks ago, right before my dental stuff started, my mother, my husband, and I were invited to attend a dinner for the Utah Association for the Deaf (UAD). I was wearing this beautiful dress, my hair was georgous and I knew my husband was going to look amazingly handsome. All I could focus on were my fingers, so I went to a nail school and had acrylic nails put on again. I found the least expensive place in case I bit them off, again. The nail technician had to put a base layer on because I had bit them so short. It's a good thing he did because they didn't even try to pop off, like the other ones.

My attitude changed immediately. I felt beautiful and did my best to keep them out of my mouth. It was hard, but I managed. A week later I got tooth extracted and braces put on. I haven't been able to bite my nails due to the braces, it's just too difficult. Plus, I worry that I will break a bracket if I even try.

I've pulled off my growing out acrylic nails and am going to start taking care of them. I'm excited to see my real nails grow and hopefully they'll be strong enough to at least sit just above my finger tip. I hope biting them hasn't destroyed my nail beds and I'll be left with nubby fingers for the rest of my life. I have sixteen + months to rid myself of this nervous habit, grow beautiful nails and accomplish something I thought I'd never be able to do.

Here they are.....in all their after acrylic nails glory. Well, except for the lonely thumb nail that's taking forever to loosen.

Oh well, it's good to scratch with. Take a look at my left pinky nail. Whoo-hoo! That's the longest I've ever let them grow before biting them off. Where the white starts is where I would bite them down to. Some of the acrylic nails pulled off what grew (so they are shorter) and of course there are several layers of nail that were removed with them.

Nail biting is definately a Hard Habit to Break! Now scroll back up and hit play again...you know you want to.

Produce Bag Give-Away Update

I really do love giving away things, its just finding the time to sew my produce bag holder-invention type thingie has been quite a problem.  I can't send you the bags without the produce bag holder-invention type thingie, ya know.  It wouldn't be right.  

I've worked every day this week and still will be working tomorrow.  Friday will be my day off,  but that will (hopefully) consist of laundry, laundry, cleaning, library and laundry.  I appreciate everyone's patience and excitement.  You really should be excited.  In fact, I'm so excited I am going to start sewing the bag as soon as I finish this post.

I will close the contest at midnight MST tomorrow (6/4/09).  I will then write everyones name on a piece of paper and let one of my beautiful children pick a lucky winner.  Watch for the announcement because it's going to be a big surprise!!!  

Talk About My daily bread

To read others are talking about on "Talk About Tuesday" click here!!!

Sunday was a wonderfully domestic day in the kitchen.  However, wonderfully domestic does not transcend to the laundry room (where I really should have been) nor the bathrooms.  In my defense, my children normally take care of the bathrooms, but I gave them the day off so I didn't have to deal with complaining children while trying to think  I could concentrate on baking bread.

Yes, yes, I get the gold-star mommy award for the day.  Thank you. Thank you.  ::bowing::

I have to admit, I am not much of a bread baker and have spent the past three weeks looking for a bread machine to "do the work for me".  Problem is, I know what I want in a bread machine and unfortunately, those bread machines cost way too much.  I even looked at thrift stores, praying before I entered "Please God, let me find a breadmaker that works and doesn't have dead roaches in it."  No luck.  Apparently God wants me to knead the dough by hand.  You are aware that God has an amazing sense of humor, right?  I'm not sure why I am always the subject of these kind of jokes, but whatever...He's God.  Who am I to question how He grows me.  In fact, if I weren't so stubborn, He wouldn't have to use such methods.  

Taking the hint, I decided to take my kids to the library and research bread books.  I've had my eye on sour dough ever since I read The Lazy Organizer's post about heavenly sour dough pita's .  First, I begged Lara for some starter and then she ignored me.  Hmmmph.  I guess she has other things to do like, make us all envy her beautiful figure (as we all gulp down massive amounts of Green Smoothies so we, too, can lose weight without trying),  express her fabulous sewing skills,  or maybe she was just taking care of her family while preparing for an important trip where she is speaking at a seminar.  Yeah...I think that's it.  She would offer me a cup of her starter if she had even a moments time to think, let alone pack, ya know.  We're, um.....tight. 

All kidding aside, I do wish Lara a safe trip and successful seminar.  Oh, and Lara, because you didn't save me, I did research on my own and now I can use words like "Mother Sponge", "Baby Sponge", "lactobacillus" and "starter" in a sentence.  Plus, the best part is....we now are the proud owners of a new "pet" that we must feed every day, unless we put our "pet" in the fridge and then we have to feed it every week.  Apparently, cold pets don't need to eat that often.  I wonder if Lilo would like the fridge?

Back to the bread.....

I'm sick of wasting money on loaf after loaf of bread.  I feel it's my duty to keep bread on hand in case any of my constantly hungry children want a sandwich.  I typically buy two loaves and they just sit there half eaten.  Mostly because it's school time and the kids prefer school lunches.  I know that doesn't mean I (or they) can't pack a yummy lunch, it just means the schools in our district do a pretty decent job of preparing healthy meals.  I'm sure I could do better, but if my children are anything like me, it's a bummer to have a soggy peanut butter and jelly sandwich waiting for you when the aroma of mashed potatoes and gravy seeps under your classroom door.   

Now I know you're thinking, "Why do you buy bread if nobody eats it?", believe me..I've asked myself that question many times.  The thing is, we do eat bread, just not often.  However, when we make sandwiches, we tend to go through two bags of bread at a time, which is why I usually keep two loaves on the counter.  We also prefer to eat more artisan type breads, sourdough, whole wheat baguettes and Rhodes rolls for sandwiches.

Despite my desire to stimulate the economy and use a months income on a new camera, I am feeling frugal when it comes to groceries.  My cart, in the past few months, has held less and less processed foods and more and more produce.  This definately doesn't make much of a difference in my grocery bill, in fact, it is probably a bit higher though I haven't really processed the numbers. Seeing my children pick an apple or slice of cheese for a snack instead of a handful of potato chips makes me feel like I'm doing something right.  I'd rather keep my kitchen stocked with fresh fruit and veggies, smoothie ingredients and a few healthier easy foods than all the crud I used to purchase.  

Which, oh yeah, brings me back to bread.  

I actually made two loaves of Honey Whole Wheat bread (that the kids and hubby loved) and piadina's on Sunday afternoon.  We topped the piadina's with turkey, avacado, bacon, tomato and lettuce for a quick and yummy Sunday dinner.  I cut mine up and drizzled Basalmic Vinegar dressing on it and instantly decided that Basalmic Vinegar dressing must go on everything.

I'm sorry for the lack of pictures.  It probably makes my blog posts rather boring, but with all the clean up and the kids scarfing down everything...I just didn't have time to take a photo.  Next time I will.  I still would like a bread maker, just because my Kitchen Aid wasn't handling the dough very well.  The last thing I need is for that to burn up.  I would cry if I lost my Kitchen Aid.  

Here is the piadina recipe if you are interested.  

Now I must go feed my "pet" and research sourdough pizza crust recipes.  I'm thinking a garlic chicken alfredo topping sounds wonderful.  Don't you?